I never could understand why women stay in ‘bad’ relationships. This seems to be the norm now a days. I look at all of these reality tv shows, Love and Hip Hop, Black Ink, and other shows and it seems like woman are having a hard time knowing when to say when. Why is that? I am sure these shows have people posting on their blogs saying why are you stuck on stupid and dangling from dumb, but I think that is unfair. I think we really need to define what is ‘bad’. The bottom line is, most women get to a point when their tired is tired (as my grandmother used to say). Bad for some women could be catching their partner in the actual act of sex. Some women’s definition of bad could be their partner flirting with another woman. I had a good friend whose spouse cheated, and her mother in law told her that as long her son was still taking care of the household, bringing home his check and wasn’t blatantly disrespectful to her by putting the affair(s) he was having in her face, then she should have nothing to complain about. I told her that was the dumbest thing I had ever heard in my entire life. It is no wonder why her son was having a problem with maintaining a relationship with my friend, the mother in law probably taught him all his life that it was ok to cheat as long as…. I think that her mother in law was raised by her mother with this same frame of reference. My friend decided to call it quits because her partner was a serial cheater and she just couldn’t deal with it any longer. ( I will do another post related to men’s behaviors in these situations at a later date.) If you really think about it, we really have to think about the beliefs of the woman who stays in a relationships that keeps her unhappy, what did she experience growing up, what relationship did she experience with her father, was she able to set boundaries in her close family relationships, did she have a parent telling her, as long as a man doesn’t through his affair in your face and as long as he is taking care of home, then you should just be content with the behavior . I think the first step to a woman figuring out her next moves in a ‘bad’ relationship is figuring out who she is. Her focus has to stop being on the behavior of her partner and start being on what will lead her to happiness. To lead a full life where she is not worried about the illicit activities of her partner. This is not an easy task at all. It takes a strong person to not focus on the such a prominent, heart breaking thing and focus on herself. Don’t be a victim in this situation, be the one to come out on top. Figure out what ‘bad’ means to you and then work on yourself to figure out the rest. A woman doesn’t have to settle if she doesn’t want to. It’s her choice.
If you or someone you know is dealing with a partner’s unfaithfulness, contact me so I can tell you more about the infidelity tool kit. It contains the essential items every woman needs to help them discover themselves and find the strength they need to move forward in their lives.